A far cry

This is a poem I wrote some time ago when the campaign to ban foxhunting was underway. Although the campaign was successful it isn’t necessarily permanent as another tory government would probably reverse the ban. I often used to see foxes whilst walking my dogs early in the morning or late at night and yes I really did smell them and watch their young play etc. These are impressive wild animals and have more right to be there than we do.

It’s a far cry
A far cry from nature
From humanity
From civilization

I know, ‘cause I smelled the foxes
In the cold morning breeze
‘Cause I watched them grow
‘Cause I saw them play
‘Cause I heard their cry
Far in the distance

And the foxhunters? They
Watched them die

The hunters
Caring, caring for the countryside
Caring for nature, caring with their hatred
Their seething anger, their aching lust
For blood, for fear, for power
And yes, their lust for death

All their fancy jackets
Expensive tweeds and shiny boots
Sitting high and mighty, toasting their success
With blood-red wine on a pedigree horse
A pedigree horse groomed by stable hands
Delivered by Range Rovers
Polished and paid for by the working classes

Charging through the countryside
Like some long lost cavalry
Red coats bright, bugle calls shrill
But these brave toy soldiers
They won’t see battle, they won’t feel fear
Or wonder when their final moment comes
They won’t lie forgotten
In some God-forsaken foreign desert

No! the hunters
Defending their privilege their “Way of life”
Looking after the peasants and paying a pittance
To keep them in their place
To keep up traditions
To keep flaunting their power

To race through your back yard, or mine
Hounds baying for blood
The blood of a fox, or a family pet
Who cares? “Stand aside! we’re coming through”

The hunters days are numbered
But they still can’t see the truth
That there never was a god-given right
To hunt the fox, to ride roughshod over our land
Over the working classes and over our laws
But they still can’t see

Because they never smelled the foxes
In the cold morning breeze
All they smell
Is diesel fumes, polished leather
Warm wine and horses and dogs
The pungent sweat, the sickly-sweet scent of blood
The sharp reek of fear and the stench of death

And all they hear is
Snorting horses, yelping hounds
Tearing flesh, breaking bones
A vixen’s cry and her last breath

I know, ‘cause I smelled the foxes
In the still night air

And the hunters? They
Watched them die

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The Bottom of the Cup

This is a poem about the way some people can be lost in their thoughts. I saw a man sat with his drink, he looked so thoughtful and peaceful and as I thought about that afterwards I wrote this poem.

Silent, almost motionless,
Static as a statue,
Long, straggly grey hair,
Mirrored by a shaggy beard,
With blue striped suit, brown brogues,
A character from Joyce’s Dublin,
Perhaps a little out of place,
In Rochdale’s cold glass clad malls,
He looked, well stared, intently,
At what? The bottom of his,
Empty coffee cup,
Fifteen minutes passed,
In home-time haste,
His gaze, steady and calm,
Neither fades, nor shifts
Not one sliver of a fractured inch
A few more minutes passed,
I sneaked a look,
But all I saw,
Was the bottom of his empty coffee cup,
An empty, used receptacle,
I went back and looked again,
I saw no more than drying coffee dregs,
I wondered what his gaze could see,
But couldn’t bring myself to ask,
He looked so calm, at peace,
A peace my uninvited voice mustn’t break,
Instead I asked myself,
What can he see?
Has he practiced through the years?
Has he perfected the art of seeing?
Can he see beyond mere eyes?
Did he break the chains in which we live?
The cast-iron shackles of the everyday
Was his mind flying free?
Looking down on the ordinary
In the bottom of his cup
Had it flown to
Another place, or another time
An unlived future yet to be revealed
A past lived then and lived again
An unseen present exposed just for him
No need for diaries
Or photos
Or fancy DVDs
Sitting with his memories
Perhaps his hopes
His dreams
His life beyond my eyes
I watched him as I walked away,
And wondered, could I learn to see?
To really see!
Like he can see,

In the bottom of a coffee cup

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Only in my dreams

Another poem I wrote a few years ago. This is about a place that has always been special to me but it is also about the way that the human race has always messed with nature and continues to do so.

Carabeg,
A peat bog in Ireland’s West,
I travelled here every year,
Often more than once,

Sat there beside brackish pools,
Breathing that cool clear air,
I dreamed my dreams,
Deep in thought,
Totally at peace,
Light grey mist swirled in wispy veils,
And in the distance the curlew called,

Here once was a primeval forest,
Here there lived great trees,
Fearsome insect eating plants,
Early mammals and birds,
Then,
Long, long ago,
The forest died,

For thousands of years,
Below the surface,
The ancient forest remained,
Preserved in the peaty mass,

New life came to Carrabeg once more,
Frogs, newts, water dwelling beetles,
Butterflies flitting from flower to flower,
Dragonflies patrolled the ditches,
Horsetail grass that ancient survivor,
And the cotton-wool flax waved in the breeze,
Early men, hunter-gatherers lived nearby,

This was a mystical, magical place,
The earth shook under my footsteps,
Ancient tree trunks, bleached by the years,
Broke through the surface,
Like great white skeletons, long forgotten,
The Will-o-the-wisp,
Glowing eerily across the bog,
For thousands of years man and nature,
Shared this place, side by side,

Not now!
Those times are gone,

A plantation,
Man made!
Un-natural lines,
Of un-natural trees,
Men chose the trees,
Men drained the water,
Men killed off the frogs,
The dragonfly, the sundew,
And the cotton-wool flax,

We’ve thrown away our past,
Lost our link to those few, early hunter-gatherers,
We took away the mystery and magic,
Those beautiful plants,
And birds,
And animals,

That history!
That journey of a million lives,
Lies buried,
Lost, beneath the firs!

I still see the Will-o-the-Wisp,
I still smell the brackish pools,
I still taste the sweet, clear air,
I still feel the spongy earth beneath my feet,
I still hear the curlew call,
But only in my dreams

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On the Edge

I wrote this poem a few years ago on the day my cousin Chris O’Grady died. I was out walking around Blackstone Edge above Rochdale and the poem almost wrote itself when I got home.

It’s wild up here, properly wild,
Surrounded by earth, rocks and sky,
Windy, always, even on the stillest days,
Rocks carved, smoothed by the elements,
But touch them with an un-gloved hand,
They’re sharp, rough; they’ll tear your skin,

An unforgiving piece of wilderness,
Not nature as a soft and comfy friend,
But powerful, strong and hard as nails,
Small loose stones that twist unwary ankles,
And should you fall the grit-stone rocks,
Will bruise your body, break your bones,

Here nature forms a wild frontier,
A watershed of life and death,
You’ll find your soul in a place like this,
I’m here today, seeking peace and inspiration
But memories, emotions flood my mind,
And I share them with nature, my old trusted friend,

Almost fourty years ago,
With my cherished childhood friend,
I played in rocky fields,
Ancient warriors roaming where they choose,
Raced across wide open places,
Prospectors seeking Klondike gold,

Built shelter of sticks and fronds,
Desert nomads hiding from the searing sun,
Watched our ships of twigs and leaves,
Rafts braving the wild Orinoco’s falls,
Hunted frogs among the rushes,
Pharaohs stalking crocodile beside the Nile,

Searching out eggs,
In the depths of King Solomon’s mines,
Jumping out from the ditches,
“Your money or your life!”,
“All for one and one for all”,
Culmore’s own small band of Musketeers,
Standing high on the wall,
Hilary and Tensing on top of the world,

Early today she died ….. we knew she would,
If not today then someday soon,
We all knew it was ….. “for the best”,
That’s what we like to say,

Emotions and body sheltered in our home, I heard the sad news,
We’re all grown up now, so I mustn’t cry,
Stood here on the moors, with my old trusted friend,
Like nature’s child, my heart unfettered, my mind runs free,
I mourn her loss, question, curse and finally I weep,
My dear cousin, my childhood friend, left our world today,

But for an hour this afternoon, Chris O’Grady is here with me,
Running and playing, hiding behind the ditches,
Hair blowing in the wind, around that freckled smile,
Here we stand, as we always will,
Facing West, on the Edge, drinking in the essence of life,
Its wild up here, properly wild

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Nowhere and back again

This poem talks about the journey into and then back out of depression. I’ve been there, read the book, got the T-shirt, cried the tears. Oh Yes – I know the way to nowhere and I’ve had to learn the way back.

Anxiety skulks in
Through the chinks of normality
Lurking un-noticed
Hiding in corners of the mind
Gaining strength
Feeding on itself
Undermining reason
Just a small spark
Fuelled by uncertainty
Consuming belief
Doubting even doubt itself
The spark ignites a fuse
Bonfires in the soul
A dark rocket bursts
Showering its shards of despair
A nebulous crescendo
Of pain, of fear
Of nothing, of nowhere
A blinding flash
Of darkness
Leads you into
The void
A place of nothingness
Not even fear
Just darkness
Darker
Deeper
Colder
Engulfed
A living death
With no way back
Imprisoned in oneself
Nowhere going nowhere
One day hope steals back
Seeping through the pores of despair
A silent blossoming
A faint whiff
A ghost of a scent
A little healing
A little light
Almost lost against the enormity of hurt
Given time, lots of time
The scent of hope pervades
Settling in corners of the mind
Gaining strength
Feeding on itself
Undermining nothingness
An exit
A way forward
Something grows
A vision
Clearer
Stronger
A future
It will come
And maybe
Just maybe
It might linger
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Something

Another poem for Maggie. Don’t need to say anything more. 

There’s something about your eyes, 
the way they move, 
the way they smile, 
something about the way they look at me.
There’s something about your voice, 
the way you talk, 
the way you laugh, 
something about the things you say. 
There’s something about your hands, 
the way they hold mine. 
Something about your hair,
catching the light, 
catching my eye. 
There’s something about the way you walk, 
the way you stand, 
Something about the things you do, 
and there’s something about …. 
Something about, 
the who you are, 
the who I am, 
the who we’ll be. 
And all the somethings, 
about everything, 
about anything. 
All the somethings, 
they all add up, 
add up, 
to everything, 
everything. 
And that’s what I love about you.
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Seahorses

This poem is about how things were when I was at primary school. I’ve changed the name of the teacher but he could be one of thousands. We no longer see his harsh methods as either acceptable or effective but when people were brought up in such times and did as was expected of them did it make them bad people? I don’t really think so.

Mr O’Brien
Sir to you and me
Had a strap

A collection of straps
Different colours
Different lengths and widths
All stung outstretched hands
When Mr O’Brien spoke
Everybody listened
And he drank warm milky coffee
With skin on
And he had seahorses

Mr. O’Brien

Stood straighter than straight
He had two pens for marking
Red and green
Hard and soft
Red crosses stung hands
Green a chance to correct
Good! Meant good!
In any colour

Mr. O’Brien
Taught right from wrong
Imposed his discipline
With fairness
In an old fashioned
Outdates, discredited way
Mr. O’Brien was never wrong
And he drank warm milky coffee
With skin on
And he had seahorses

Mr O’Brien
Taught what he knew
Knew what he taught
Held his beliefs firmly
Led by example
Cared deeply
Seldom showed it

Jack O’Brien
Was an old man
With steely eyes
Age set free a thin
Wry smile
And bent his once
Rod straight back
And his hands shook
As he spoke
and he spoke of the past
and the pupils he taught

When Jack O’Brien spoke
Everybody listened
No more straps
And he drank warm milky coffee
With skin on
But the seahorse
Were gone

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Reawoken

Yes I can do romantic – wrote this one for Maggie 

Happy Valentine’s Day XXX

I’m awake
Not un-sleeping
But awake
More awake than ever
Awake to today
Awake to tomorrow
Awake to life
Awake with your voice in my ears
Awake with your smile on my face
Awake with your hair in my fingers
Awake with your fragrance in my mind
Awake with your taste on my lips
Awake with your wonder in my heart

You may sleep
Wrapped in my arms
Head on my chest
Breathing shared air
Skin under my skin
Scent on my body
Warmth by my side

I’m awake
Watching, dreaming
Hoping, holding
Shielding, protecting

I’m awake
Don’t ever let me sleep

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Not Like the Rest

A true story, very sad and a reminder of how society (government really) can let someone down. This was the ultimate failure of “care in the community”. It still happens.

Young, slim, pretty 
Shiny black hair
In satin waves
Freshness of youth
Delicate features
Fragile like the mayfly
A shy nervous smile
Flickers briefly
She looks much like the rest
And she walks and talks
Just like the rest
She tells me her story
Reads me her poems
Glimpses a future 
Inside she struggles
Stresses and worries
Insecurity, plagues her like locusts
Eating confidence, consuming spirit
An empty bottle, beached
On life’s shore
Forgotten, a lonely, abandoned lamb
To face her wolves
And she hurts
“What about me?”
“What about me?”
“How should I feel? I don’t matter”
Not like the rest 
Doctors diagnose, plan intervention
Prescribe medication, a hospital bed
Nurses monitor and report
Administer the treatment
Provide some care
Nobody really listens
Nobody really knows
Or understands
So she remains
Hospitalised, medicated
Pacified, stabilised
Tranquilised, desensitised
Monitored, protected
Contained, controlled 
How does she feel?
She can’t explain
Then how could she
Doped and drugged
Her feelings blanked
Smothered and flattened
And they
Can’t explain
Then how could they?
She doesn’t look ill
She carries no mark
She wears no badge
They say she’s recovered
Finished her treatment
She’s not so sure
They send her home 
Parents plead
A mother knows
She’s not ready
She’s still hurting
She still needs help
Her bed’s allocated
Her budget’s spent
Her resources gone
Released, discharged
Just like the rest 
Her care in the community
Her one brief day 
Of freedom
They came too soon
Unwittingly created
A torment too far
On a bridge
She pauses
No samaritans
No witness
No mothers arms
She’s gone
A solitary column inch
She didn’t matter
Not like the rest

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And did those feet?

Here’s my newest poem. I’m not what you could ever call a patriot, I’ve always felt that it is people that matter, not a state. This poem says a little about how I feel.

 

And did those feet in ancient times?
Well did they?
Did their walking
Their fighting
Their belief
Bring us here?
To a land of boom and bust
A land of us and them
A land of me, me and me
And did those suffragettes
Fight for our excesses
And did those soldiers
Die for our bankers
And was democracy
builded here
for the haves?
And does the state protect
The have-nots
And like the small child
Asking forlornly
“are we there yet?”
There could only be one answer
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The beige and the greys

I was having fun fun thinking about at the way that older people tend to wear grey and beige and had the idea that Littlewoods, BHS and Greenwoods were pushers getting the older generation hooked on those colours – so here it is, another case of thinking too much:

There’s a new drug in town

Unscrupulous dealers skulking

Behind pseudo respectable facades

Littlewoods, Greenwoods, BHS

Pushing the beige and the greys

When you walk a little slowly

See a little less clearly

Hear a little more quietly

They’re on to you

Chasing the grey dragon

Advertising, peer pressure

They’ll do you a special deal

An offer you can’t refuse

Half price on pension day

Vouchers at the bingo

You think you’re in control

With defiant splash of colour

You think you’re one of us

Once bitten you’re hooked

You’re one of them now

Insidious beige and greys

You’ll blend in, fade away

Another lost generation

Colourless, powerless

Gone

And the dealers move on

Regroup and adapt

To younger victims

A beige hoody in Topshop

Grey Kickers in JJB


Don’t give up

Fight for your brights

Resist the bland

Dump the dealers

Don’t be colourless

Powerless

Done
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Big Print

Ever noticed how when you get to my age you need to hold things further away to read them, and then the text gets too small. There are two solutions bigger print or glasses. Of course sometimes we just try without either. If I wear my glasses I can’t see anything more than a few feet away so for poetry performance it has to be the big print:
 
Squinting, me?
I don’t think so!
It’s not me
It’s just the light
It’s too dim
Wrong sort of bulb
My eyes are fine

Reading at arms length
I don’t think so!
It’s not my age
It’s just the print
Poor quality
Wrong type of paper
My eyes are fine

Using big print, me?
I don’t think so!
It’s not me
It’s just the font
Big by nature
Default style
My eyes are fine

Got a prescription, me?
I don’t think so!
It’s not my eyes
It’s just the optician
Has to say something
Earn his pay
My eyes are fine

Giving in, me?
I don’t think so!
It’s not my eyes
The glasses?
They look cool
Distinguished
My eyes are fine

Going grey, me?
I don’t think so!
Can’t see it myself
My eyes are fine
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